Lee Van Cleef! I remember him in A Fistful of Dollars, where he had the respectable native occupation of bounty hunter, and a gun (with a natty set of attachments) which came in a flap-down case. Now he is 'starring' in a late-night series (Mondays on Central) so awful that the TV Times is ashamed to give any programme details except its title. It's called The Master, and Mr Van Cleef plays a ninja warrior - an adept of the black Japanese arts of espionage and assassination - who tours America righting wrongs in the company of a fresh-faced American side-kid. Here, too, Mr Van Cleef is kitted out with deadly accessories - not firearms, but ninja weapons, from sword to spiked throwing wheels (for narrowly missing people and burying in door jambs), plus of course his feet and hands. The first sight of the game old boy dealing with a roomful of rednecks in bionic slow motion made me rub my eyes. But no. Spitting Image is on the night before.

LRB 5 June 1986 | PDF Download